*DETROIT— In an unprecedented turn of events, the Ford Motor Company has issued an immediate recall of over 1 million vehicles after discovering that what was believed to be a software glitch in rearview cameras was actually an unremarkable old-fashioned rearview mirror. The revelation came in light of extensive investigative work revealing that drivers have indeed been using reflective glass mounted above their dashboards all along.*
“We sincerely apologize for any confusion or inconvenience this oversight may have caused our loyal customers,” stated Ford’s Chief Technology Officer, Marvin Lensflair, during a hastily organized press conference. “It appears that in our quest to innovate, we accidentally overlooked a staple of automotive engineering that has been serving drivers since time immemorial—a mirror.”
The recall affects late-model Fords equipped with the all-new “Backwards Glance” package, a feature marketed as utilizing state-of-the-art cameras but which, upon reflection, was merely a shiny piece of glass. This package reportedly caused confusion among drivers expecting a digital interface only to be confronted with their own perplexed gazes.
Industry experts were baffled by how such a fundamental component could be misunderstood. Automotive analyst Dr. Vera Verso expressed both shock and awe at the realization. “It’s almost as if they reinvented something that didn’t need reinvention,” she remarked. “I’m curious to see whether they’ll start recalling steering wheels next for being round.”
Ford’s engineering team has since confirmed that their revolutionary ‘camera’ was indeed non-digital and is working on providing actual cameras to concerned owners. However, the discovery has led to further unintended consequences, with reports that some drivers, previously unaware of the mirror’s function, are now using it to adjust their hair while driving, leading to an increase in car-styling-related incidents.
To ensure authenticity in future vehicular innovations, Ford has vowed to double-check each component’s purpose. “We’ve brought in a team of historians to review all vehicular instruments under the dashboard archeology program,” Lensflair added. “Early reports suggest that some parts under the hood are suspected of being, in fact, engines.”
In an unexpected twist, rival automaker Tesla has announced they are working on a similar feature that doubles as both a camera and a mirror but with added AI functionality, allowing it to criticize drivers on their outfit choices.
Impacted Ford owners are advised to visit their local dealerships for a proper installation of the actual rearview camera. In the meantime, instructional videos on how to properly use a mirror will be streamed via the vehicles’ infotainment systems to mitigate any future confusion.
Ford has assured their customer base that they are committed to steering into clearer territories of 21st-century automotive innovation, but with a newfound appreciation for checking twice before announcing updates.
“We’re committed to transparency,” Lensflair concluded earnestly. “That’s a joke, because, you know, mirrors… they’re transparent too.”
