*GALACTIC JUDICIARY SYSTEM—In an unprecedented move that has sent shockwaves through both Earth-based and interstellar legal systems alike, a coalition of extraterrestrial species has filed a restraining order against former U.S. President Donald Trump’s ambitious ‘Golden Dome’ missile defense system.*
According to representatives from the Galactic Federation of Unified Planets (GFUP), the proposed ‘Golden Dome’—a colossal network of space-based missile interceptors—poses a significant threat to intergalactic harmony. Sources close to the diplomatic negotiations confirmed that the aliens have asked for an immediate cessation of all construction activities related to the project.
“We commend former President Trump for his creative aspirations, but no one appreciates an unsolicited interstellar art installation hovering over their planets,” said Xylor N’koi, a spokesperson for the GFUP, while shimmering under the ethereal glow of the Milky Way during a press conference on Planet Gliese 581g. “The system is not only aesthetically displeasing but could also inadvertently trigger diplomatic incidents across more than 42 inhabited galaxies.”
Although Trump had announced plans for the Golden Dome soon after reassuming office in 2025, the initiative has now hit a celestial snag. White House officials, however, remain defiant. “This is nothing but cosmic NIMBYism,” declared Space Force Colonel Jeffrey “Starlord” Michaels in a written statement sent from his orbiting command post. “The Golden Dome will assure terrestrial security and bring an unparalleled gleam to the night sky.”
In a bizarre twist, earthbound environmentalists have also joined the extraterrestrial protest, arguing that the Golden Dome would have unintended consequences for Earth’s night wildlife. “Bats are already struggling to find their way around city lights; adding a giant, rotating dome of gold in space is just irresponsible,” said Dr. Flora Faunstein, of the Wildlife and Galactic Interface Institute.
Despite counterclaims of Earth sovereignty, unofficial reports have emerged that the U.S. government is seeking to negotiate a compromise, possibly involving a colossally large space disco ball to appease both aesthetic concerns and diplomatic tensions.
Defense industry juggernauts, SpaceX, Palantir, and Anduril, all predicted frontrunners in the contract race, have begun to express concern over potential project delays. Meanwhile, space law experts around the universe are eagerly watching the developments. “It’s like one of those movies where the stakes keep getting higher,” commented interstellar law scholar Professor Zorp Bliff from the Andromeda University School of Alien Affairs. “Except this time, the sequel is happening in real life.”
As the legal proceedings unfold, Trump has reportedly scheduled a meeting with GFUP leaders next lunar eclipse to discuss a possible resolution, with plans to live-tweet the event from his intergalactic yacht, Mar-a-Spacelargo.
At press time, residents of Mars and its buzzy tourist hot spots remain cautiously optimistic, stocking up on sunblock to counter the potential glare.
