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*Singapore—* In a bold move aimed at bolstering regional security, US Secretary of Defence Pete Hegseth has called upon Asian allies to replicate European defence spending levels by redirecting their national budgets towards backing a sprawling network of artisanal, hipster coffee shops. This unconventional strategy, announced during the 22nd Shangri-La Dialogue in Singapore, suggests a…
**WASHINGTON, D.C. —** In a move that has sent ripples through both political and vacuum circles, Elon Musk’s sudden departure from the Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) has left a gaping void, one officials are scrambling to fill by commissioning a Roomba equipped with a briefcase. The automated cleaner, now affectionately dubbed “RoboMusk,” has been…
*Starbase, Texas — In a shocking move that is sending ripples through the small community, Starbase, Texas, has proposed a revolutionary housing initiative requiring residents to vacate their traditional homes and relocate to decommissioned rocket ships parked around the town. This ambitious plan introduced by the city council aims to create a “thriving space community”…
