*BURLINGTON, VT—In a bold move designed to address global conflicts with the sweet taste of dairy, Unilever’s beloved Ben & Jerry’s has announced the launch of its latest flavor, “Rocky Road to Peace,” aimed at promoting dialogue and resolution in regions affected by violence. The flavor, which features chocolate ice cream mixed with peace-inspired marshmallow swirls, is said to represent the tumultuous journey toward global harmony.*
The new flavor was unveiled at a press conference Wednesday morning, where co-founder Jerry Greenfield stated, “We’ve always believed that when it comes to complex geopolitical issues, ice cream can be the perfect bridge. ‘Rocky Road to Peace’ serves as a metaphor for the bumpy journey towards understanding.”
The ice cream company plans to release this limited-edition flavor accompanied by a series of promotional events. For every scoop sold, Ben & Jerry’s promises to donate a portion of the proceeds to various activist organizations, including the Coalition for Dessert Diplomacy, which aims to resolve international tensions through ice cream social gatherings.
“It’s not just about the flavor; it’s about the message,” said Dr. Maria Sweets, a food sociologist at the University of Vermont who specializes in conflict resolution through culinary practices. “Food has always played a vital role in human connection, and what’s more unifying than enjoying a refreshing scoop of chocolate ice cream while discussing potential peace treaties?”
The flavor rollout is set to coincide with International Ice Cream Day, during which Ben & Jerry’s will host a live-streamed debate among political leaders, all while tasting the new flavor. “Nothing breaks down walls quite like a good rocky road,” added Greenfield.
However, the launch was met with some backlash. Critics have pointed out that the flavor’s name trivializes the grave injustices occurring in various conflict zones around the world. A spokesperson for the Nonprofit Alliance for Serious Snack Initiatives (NASSI) voiced concerns, stating, “You wouldn’t call a new spicy nacho flavor the ‘Taco of Triumph’—that would be absurd. And yet here we are, consuming our way through the complexities of global issues.”
In response, Ben & Jerry’s doubled down on its commitment to peace through ice cream, releasing an accompanying flavor called “Pint of Understanding.” The flavor, which features layers of dark chocolate and piquant pistachios, is said to symbolize the necessity of accepting differences in taste while still promoting mutual respect and understanding.
Additionally, Ben & Jerry’s has announced it will be partnering with renowned conflict resolution expert, Professor Harmony Spooner, who will conduct “flavorful dialogues” where participants can discuss issues ranging from local environmental efforts to international peace treaties, all while enjoying a sundae.
“We’re not just here to make ice cream; we’re here to make a difference—one scoop at a time,” said Greenfield. “And if that means we need to put a cherry on top of an international summit, then so be it.”
As the world watches with anticipation, “Rocky Road to Peace” is poised to hit freezers next month, offering the tantalizing promise that perhaps, just perhaps, everything might be resolved over a scoop of ice cream.
