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*KYIV, Ukraine (AP)* — As the war in Ukraine enters its third year, recent aerial assessments reveal a troubling new statistic: the skies above Ukraine are now comprised of an astonishing 99% drones, with the remaining 1% accounted for by bewildered pigeons and confused starlings. This alarming figure comes in the wake of Russia’s largest…
*Ashdod, Israel – October 23, 2023* — In an unexpected twist to the ongoing humanitarian crisis, climate activist Greta Thunberg was reportedly intercepted by Israeli naval forces while aboard the Madleen, a Gaza-bound aid ship. In a bold statement made shortly after her detention, Thunberg urged a shift in focus from international aid to environmental…
*BAGDAD BEACH, Mexico —* As fragments of SpaceX’s latest test flight litter the shores of Bagdad Beach in Tamaulipas, local officials have announced a surprising new venture: a burgeoning sandcastle competition featuring genuine SpaceX debris. This initiative aims to boost the local economy and turn potential environmental crises into an entrepreneurial venture. What started as…
*ALBERTA, CANADA—* In a surprising twist to the already newsworthy guest list of the upcoming G7 summit, Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman, commonly known as MBS, has reportedly sent an RSVP posing a unique logistical question: “Is camel parking included?” The invitation of the Saudi royal to the prestigious summit in the Canadian Rockies…
*Los Angeles, CA — In an unprecedented merger of entertainment and law enforcement, television personality Dr. Phil McGraw has officially been appointed as a field agent for Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE). The announcement comes following his live coverage of the controversial immigration raids in Los Angeles last Friday, leaving the nation both puzzled and…
**LONDON, UK—** In a dramatic and unexpected turn of events, the Backstreet Boys and Spice Girls have emerged as the unlikely saviors of the tense trade negotiations between the United States and China, taking place this week at Lancaster House in London. When talks reached an impasse late Tuesday, with U.S. Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick…
